The British Are Coming!
by foxygirlandracoonwoman
Summary: The fruba world just got alot more interesting... Amy and Becky let the mayhem commence! Rated for matureish language not just Kyo this time! Please R&R. We need loooooove
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Ok people, so the last version didn't work out too well. We stopped, lazed about for a while and then decided to do something about it. So here we are, Amy and Becky, back again to rework out fanfiction. PLEASE read and review. If you like it then tell us if you think there's something we could work on then critique is also welcomed. Flamers will be sporked to death.

So yeah. This first chapter is by Amy. Read it. Love it. Review it. Here we go!

-+-+-+-chapter 1-+-+-+-

"Um... So let me get this straight; they got expelled from their school so you sent them to a completely different country they know nothing about to live with Akito of all people?!" This was not the usual statement Shigure Sohma found himself making early in the morning but there he was on the phone talking away. He rolled his eyes a little, holding the phone away from his ear as the person on the other end rambled loudly in an irritated manner. After about ten minutes he shouted "Right, I get it, they can stay here instead!" With that he put the phone down and sighed. His house was going to be in ruins after they arrived.

-+-+-+-later that day-+-+-+-

"Have you heard of a place called Sohma House?" The events leading up to Haru asking this question had been strange. Three days ago Akito had instructed him to deliver two important people to Shigure's house. Not only had he lost them but he was lost too. Now this bemused girl was his only hope... Damn his odds were not looking so good at all.

"Then.. Are you a Sohma?" Tohru asked, her eyes widened slightly. Perhaps he was a member of the zodiac! She found herself smiling as she thought about this. She had a strange fascination with anything to do with the Sohmas. Call it stalker-ish if you want.

Haru started to reply then paused, smirking. He could hear running and that only meant one thing. Walking up to the path he tied the rope to one side and then hid away where he had been sat previously. Tohru watched him curiously, not understanding what was going on. Having said this she rarely understood anything at all.

BANG!

Kyo had come running along, slightly in front of Yuki, and had tripped over Haru's cleverly tied rope. Yuki skidded to a stop and looked at Haru curiously, hardly noticing that Kyo was just pushing himself to his feet angrily.

"Um, Haru, what are you doing here?" Yuki asked, tilting his head slightly to one side. He then spotted Tohru and smiled "Miss Honda, what are you doing here?"

Tohru wondered how best to describe what had happened but she merely muttered "Uh..I.." Words seemed to fail her as she watched Haru and Kyo argue fiercely. Yuki moved to stand beside her and shook his head.

"They just keep showing up don't they?" He muttered darkly.

"Oh yes indeed, my friend" The sound of two voices speaking at once from behind him made him jump. Yuki turned to see two brunette girls stood there grinning like lunatics. Haru paused in his argument to glare at the two girls.

"Where the hell did you disappear to?" he fumed, walking over to them. The girls smirked and gave him a look daring him to have the courage to say anything more. Of course he didn't, they looked quite scary in all their formidable glory.

"Well.." the taller of the pair began. She had light blue eyes and freckles. "We were going to come and find you again but then we found shops and such"

"NEVER come between a girl and shopping, Haru" the shorter girl added, nodding wisely. All through this Kyo, Yuki and Tohru had been silent. Of course this was too much for the cat and he immediately launched into a monologue of rambling and rage.

"What the hell is goin' on here? Who are you two? What are you doin' here? Haru, how did you manage to lose two people so obvious! Oooooh hell now my head hurts. Just perfect! You guys have given me a headache" Kyo paused and for a moment everyone thought he had finished... Yeah right, like that would ever happen! "Are you two English? Oh great that's just what I need, two girls with stupid accents wandering around. Where are you even staying anyway? Like hell you're living at Shigure's there's no room as it is. Oh damn now I'm giving myself a worse headache!"

Amy wandered over to Kyo and clamped her hand tightly over his mouth before sticking her tongue out at him. "Shut your cake hole" she said brightly before turning she launched into a monologue in reply to what he had said, her voice dripping with irony.

"I'm Amy and this is Becky. We got sent here from England. Haru lost us because we ran away from him, he really isn't that smart sometimes. If you don't want a headache then stop thinking, it must be tiring your braincell out, and yes I meant that to be singular rather than plural. Yes we're English... How bloody dare you call out accents stupid. We don't wander, we merely lurk in a fabulous sort of way. Hell yeah we're staying at Shigure's and finally..." Amy paused as if to deliver an intelligent line but she merely grinned and said "Shush now"

Becky nodded in agreement and gave her usual intellectually response to all that waffle that had just gone on. "That about sums it up... Can we eat now?" They had only eaten three breakfasts that morning which was not unusual. Neither girl was of the fat persuasion yet admittedly they could eat for England.

"Actually, that's not a bad idea" Haru replied with a small smile, glancing shyly at Becky as he spoke. "We should get back to Shigure's"

Becky and Amy looked at each other with an evil sort of glare. After releasing Kyo Amy was still in an evil sort of mood. They were both under instructions not to trash Shigure's house yet they both knew that in the small bag on Becky's back there was all the necessary tools of torture to completely bring the house to the ground. Not that they would do so of course, but the threat was most of the fun itself.

"I get Kyo's room!" Becky declared after a long silence. All hell broke loose.

"Oi gobshite, I wanted to steal his room!"

"It's MY room damnit, you can't just take it!"

"Wanna bet, tangerine boy?"

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!"

"Damn you're cute when you're angry... Don't you think so Becky?"

"No, you're just dillusional"

"How very dare you!"

"Are you saying I'm wrong?"

"Nooooooo but that ain't the point, love"

"Um, guys..." Yuki said warily. Becky, Amy and Kyo paused to stare at him. "Can we go to Shigure's now?"

They all started walking and Kyo was fuming merrily away until he stopped dead in his tracks. Had that Amy girl just called him cute?!?!


	2. Chapter 2

**yay chapter two is here **

**this was so much fun to write, we do not own fruba (wish we did then shiggy could be our dad)**

**so dnt sue for money we dont have lol**

**this was written by foxygirl (becky) with a side of racoonwoman (amy)**

**no warnings really just serious misuse of a kyo**

**enjoy the show**

**xx**

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

yuki started to twitch.

not only had they been there for less then five minutes, they had already destroyed three doors.

kyo was pushed uncerimoniously through the first one, haru was pushed lovingly through the second and tohru

was thrown like a bar of soap through the third.

shigure walked in looking mildly distraught and carrying a screen door

"why must my house always be distroyed, what a cruel twist of fate" he wailed melodramaticly a hand to his brow.

suddenly he noticed the two new arrivals, who were currently trying to retrieve tohru to throw her through the next door.

"AH AMY, BECKY YOU'VE ARRIVED" he enthused

"no shit sherlock" becky deadpanned

"what?" amy enquired sarcastically turning to her brown eyed friend. Everyone raised their eyebrows, not quite comprehending the inside joke which after some deliberation they would not find funny anyway.

"how've you been shiggy dear" said becky with a manical grin

"SHIGGY?!?" everyone sweat dropped

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

kyo sat in his room fuming. who the hell were these people, and WHY were they calling shigure 'shiggy'.

the red haired boy made to sit on his bed only to find that his way was obstructed by something.

two somethings no less.

"What the hell?!" Kyo yelped as Amy and Becky grinned up at him like lunatics on lunatic tablets. "Get out of my room damnit!" Needless to say the girls were completely unammused by this. Becky poked him sharply in his stomach.

"Oi, arseface, this is OUR room right!"

Kyo raised an eyebrow. "Says who?!" he demanded, hands settled on his hips in what he must have thought was a comanding sort of pose.

Amy and Becky looked at each other then glanced at Kyo "You question our authority? How very dare you, kittycat!" Both girls nodded wisely. Yes they did know all about the 'curse'... After all they were cursed as well. But more about that later when Kyo wasn't about to explode.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING KITTYCAT?!" Kyo snapped, diving into a rage.

"Um... That would be you then, Kyo" Haru replied, leaning in the doorway in a superior sort of way. Becky looked up and all hell broke loose.

"HARUUUUUUU!" Becky exclaimed, jumping up and pouncing on him. Everyone in the room froze, waiting for Haru to transform. It didn't happen. Haru gaped in awe.

"Why am I not a cow?" he muttered in shock. Amy and Becky smirked in an all-knowing manner.

"We're cursed, you're cursed, it's all gravy" they said in unison. Haru and Kyo sweat dropped, thinking exactly the same thing 'WHY GRAVY?'

Shigure appeared behind Haru, hardly noticing that the cow had an English girl attached to him inconspicuously. "Ah, so you finally told them did you?" Of course Shigure knew all about their curse since they told him everything.

"Shiggy-puuuuu, since you are almighty in your perverted ways, please tell Kyo to get his arse out of our room" Amy intoned pleadingly, smiling in what would have been a sweet way had she not just produced a large paintball gun from what seemed to be thin air.

kyo's eyes widened as he realised the inevitable attack that was about to take place

Amy aimed the gun, steadying her arm "ill give you one last chance sweety pie, GET. OUT.!!"

"NEVER!!" kyo shouted in response

"wrong answer" she shouted back. and it was in mere seconds kyo was painted a lovely shade of pink

the tall girl dropped the gun and walked over to the now distraught cat patting him on the head lovingly. becky walked up to the gun picking it up and inspecting it closely

"oi amy i didnt think we packed this one" she said letting haru look at it over her shoulder

"ermm...yes im afraid ill have to take that girls" said shiggy trying desperatly not to laugh at the now depressed kitty

becky reluctantly handed the gun to the good old perv. as he took it he whispered conspiratoriously "you can have it back later if i can have a go"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tohru: Oo why am i like a bar of soap

FG:becoz you are now get over it bwahahahahahahaha

RW: hahahaha fear us

fanku for reading reviews are very welcome so PLEASE read and review even if its to tell us we suck

creative criticism welcome

xxxxxxxx Foxy girl and Racoon woman


	3. Chapter 3

**Indeed the third chapter has been re-done. **

**Again, we do not own fruba.**

**We do own ourselves.**

**And a paintball gun collection. So nurnur.**

**Off we go then!**

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shigure smirked as he saw Kyo walking around with a blotch of pink paint clinging rebelliously to his cheek. Obviously the silly cat had not looked in a mirror after his bath or he would have noticed. Still, it wasn't like anyone around there was going to tell him. Tohru had gone out and nobody else was kind enough.

Yuki trailed into the room feeling irritated that the stupid cat was getting so much attention. That certainly had never happened before yet Amy seemed to have an obsession with him. Yuki had decided it was just an English sort of thing. Flopping down into a seat he wondered where Torhu had wandered off to.

"Aw, cheer up Ratboy" Becky cooed in a mock sympathetic way, rolling her eyes in despair. She would never understand the obsession with the fruitloop known as Tohru or why Yuki called her 'miss'. Surely she wasn't that important, nobody with such a space cadet expression could be important.

Yuki looked up and frowned. How the hell did she know he was the rat? "Um... Hello Miss Becky"

Becky froze, eye twitching with irritation. "Duuuuuuude, don't DARE call me 'miss'. Do I look like an old person to you? No. To you it's either Becky or Your Royal Highness. Never 'miss'." Rant over she stalked out of the room in search of food, Amy or both. Any option was good.

Of course when she wandered into the kitchen she found Amy eyeing up a leek in a suspicious manner. "That is so not food. It's too... GREEN, for the love of fuzz" When she heard Becky walk in she looked up and grinned. "Oi, fangirl, where's Haru these days?"

Becky shrugged and looked in the fridge "Well he's not in here" she chuckled "But on the plus side I see cheese, milk, flour and pasta. You know what that means don't you" Oh dear, cue the evil laugh.

"Nooooo not the cheesey pasta burning -ness again!" Amy gasped in mock horror. Oh the kitchen was going to die. Within five minutes there were two plates of cheesey goo that looked bad but evidently tasted good since the two girls ate it in about 15 seconds. Had they been at home they may have considered washing up but they had Tohru and so they dumped everything in the sink and walked away feigning innocence.

They were about to look for something uneducational to watch when Shigure appeared behind them holding two bags "I picked up your school uniforms for you!!!" he said in a sing-song voice.

Becky turned around "I bet you did, perv boy"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS FLUFFY ARE THESE UNIFORMS MEANT TO BE?" Amy wailed, looking at her reflection in the mirror. The skirt was barely there and as for the... she wanted to call it a tie but it was more like a cape.

Becky grumbled darkly "Where's the rest of it then?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "What kind of school are we going to"

Amy poked her reflection unhappily "We aint in kansas any more Dorothy" she replied sarcasticly but her intelligence was shattered by the reply.

"Who's Dorothy?" Becky asked, her voice muffled as she rummaged through the bag they had brought. It was about the size of a very small small thing but Becky was pulling all sorts of things out of it. "I've lost my socks, damnit!" she grumbled, coming up for air with a pair of rainbow Converse in her hands. "These I found though... Yours?"

Amy squeeled with delight and pounced on her friend ending up in a very compromising position just as Shigure walked in. They both looked up and stuck their tongues out at him.

"Shiggy don't interupt" Becky joked, shoving Amy to one side before diving into the bag once more. Amy put on the Converse then stood up, admiring her reflection.

"It's not good but its better" she decided, nodding wisely. She turned and got a facefull of Becky's backside. "OH GOD I'M BLINDED!" she exclaimed dramatically before looking at Shigure "See what I must put up with? I tell her many times, I'm not an arse woman!"

Shigure chuckled at this.

"Oh God, they're like Shigure in skirts" Haru commented, appearing in the doorway again. Becky emerged from the bag grasping a pair of rainbow-striped socks. "VICTORY!" she exclaimed striking a victory pose. She glanced at Haru "When did you get here?" she asked, smoothing down the back of her skirt in a 'nobody saw that' sort of way.

Haru went to reply but then noticed they were wearing the uniform for his school. "You're joining my school then?" he asked, looking directly at Becky. Not to be ignored Amy sauntered infront of him and poked his nose "I am here y'know, stop flirting with my mate"

With this almighty statement she wandered off in search of Kyo, somehow having retrieved the paintball gun from mid air again. Becky and Haru just looked at each other wondered what the hell she was on about. (Haha they knew really)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Here Kitty Kitty Kitty" Amy called out, looking for Kyo. She paused as she actually heard him coming. Thinking quickly she jumped ninja style up to the ceiling in a x-shape clinging on for grim death. Kyo wandered into the room and Amy grinned evilly. She dropped down and somehow Kyo caught her before landing on his backside.

"Yay, my Kitty" Amy said victoriously, much to Kyo's embarrassment. Still he sat there staring at her in bemusement. It hadn't quite registered that she was still sat on him AND that she was wearing a school uniform.

"Um... Amy..." he began. Amy looked at him, tilting her head to one side.

"Yesh?" she replied.

"GET. OFF. ME!" Amy complied but pretended to be offended, turning her back on him and folding her arms. Still she was grinning but Kyo couldn't see that could he?

"Hey... Don't be mad..." Oh hell, Kyo thought, she's gonna murder me! Her evil was worse than Kagura in many ways but at least he wasn't dead yet. That was a bonus.

Amy glanced round and winked at him "Play nice Kitty, bye bye" And with that she lurked off upstairs to interrupt the love-fest that was going on... Or at least it was in her mind anyways.

--------------------------------

**There. Done. You know you love it.**

**Kyo; I feel so used.**

**RW: You are. Duh. My Kitty!**

**Haru: Um why was I involved in a 'love-fest'?!**

**FG: im not sure i dnt get it either!**

**read and review**


End file.
